


i only have that memory

by undeliveredtruth



Series: good to me [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: (You should read part 1 - it won't quite make sense otherwise), Alternate Universe - Police, M/M, Mafia (let's be serious it is what it is), Mentions of Suicide, Past Sexual Assault, Some fun stuff and some not fun stuff, Strangers to Lovers, Threats of Violence, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 10:03:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18333746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undeliveredtruth/pseuds/undeliveredtruth
Summary: Not everybody's path in life is forged at a young age. His brother, who did manage to get away from his upbringing and follow his dream, is an example. His is though. Wonwoo's is. And now this knowledge is staring him right in the face.It's been 18 years since Wonwoo left his old life. Left is a funny word though, because he never left for good. Never could. And now the tornado named Kwon Soonyoung entered his life, and further unsettled things to a point of no return. Or maybe a point of return, he could say that too.





	i only have that memory

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are, this is my surprise pairing! I said a week, but this ended up being massive so it's been two weeks or so; I hope you forgive me!
> 
> So, I actually usually don’t write characters I’m not familiar with or I don’t understand well. (This is why I haven't written Verkwan yet whoops.) And to be honest, I don’t understand Wonwoo well and I don’t think anyone truly does, despite how similar to him I find myself. But then I realize this is for fun and I can take creative liberties since it’s an AU and I love him so much so... plus Soonwoo took over my life, help me please. 
> 
> So I hope you enjoy this! As a timeline, this takes place around end of May - end of July if you consider their 2017 schedule, after which we’ll go back to Jicheol! 
> 
> Enjoy!

_"Wonwoo, Wonwoo-ya. Wake up," his brother whispers, and through the sleepy haze, Wonwoo rubs his eyes. "Wake up, we gotta go."_

_"Go where?"_

_"We're just going. Wake up and get dressed, get your bag. Mom said we have to leave quickly." Where are they going? Mom didn't say anything to him._

_Next to him, Seungcheol's still sleeping, an arm draped around Wonwoo's middle. He must have been so exhausted from playing games until late and is such a heavy sleeper he doesn't even stir when Wonwoo moves his hand. He sleeps over more often nowadays, and unlike him playing at Seungcheol's place just a few houses over, his mother doesn't come to pick him up. His mom said Seungcheol doesn't really have a mother to take care of him anymore so Wonwoo should be nice to him._

_Wonwoo can't leave him like that. He's younger, but he's always taken care of Seungcheol, ever since they were babies. His mother has told him before that when they were 2 and 3, she looked after both of them for an afternoon, as she tended to do sometimes when Seungcheol still had an actual mother, not as often as she does now. She only left to the kitchen for a few minutes, and when she came back, she saw the bookshelf falling but was too far to get them away. Only after it fell she saw Wonwoo had dragged Seungcheol away from it, both untouched beside a few books which had fallen on top of them._

_Seungcheol's always been hard-headed, always going into things head first with no sense of self-preservation. But it's fine, because he has Wonwoo with him, to save him from royally fucking up or to tame down some of his craziness when not even Jeonghan will, more often than not getting involved himself. He might be more of an observer for some of the crazy stuff Seungcheol does, watching silently from the sidelines, but he’s almost as guilty as him for the ideas._

_So even if it's for a little while, Wonwoo can't just_ leave.

_"Cheol-ah. Wake up," he shakes his shoulder, and Seungcheol groans, opening one eye._

_"What?"_

_"I'm going somewhere. I'll be back soon."_

_"Hmm. Okay, bye," Seungcheol hums and turns around, immediately falling back asleep._

_They don't come back. They never do._

* * *

"Let there be two lessons for you: you never talk about what happened here, and you never mess with the Choi family under any circumstances," the squad commander says, pulling his mask down.

Wonwoo looks at him, the "leader" of the elite squadron. Seungcheol must have really done a number on him in the academy, if he's like this.

He pulls out his gun, shoots around at the walls, some of the empty shelves, the chair Jisoo was in.

"But boss, we had them," one says in indignation, and their leader glares at him.

"We never had them. This was a suicide mission from the start. You would've all died if we tried to pull something. Never talk about this. We'll file the reports."

It was an ambush, there was a shootout as Seungcheol's men came in, and before they realized, they took Park and ran. Wonwoo switches his cartridge, shoots some more just to make it believable. Somebody sighs in displeasure.

It's just how life works. Wonwoo has known it for a long time.

* * *

"Sir, with all due respect, it's pointless."

"Your father died, one of the key people in the police, and you don't care?" His chief puts his hands on his desk, gets up and in Wonwoo's face.

"It's not that I don't care, sir. I do care. It's just that I think it's pointless to understand why. They're powerful people. They have connections everywhere."

"I didn't ask you to understand why. I asked you to follow up on the track and see where the leak was. Mostly that boy he has in that group. His father is a police officer in Busan, did you know? If the leak came from there, under any circumstance, I need to know."

"I did. But I don't think so, sir."

 _The leak came from in front of you,_ Wonwoo thinks. It's these moments where he hates himself and what he chose to become.

"So then what do you think?"

"I don't... I don't know, sir. But I talked with the boy. He barely knew anything."

"Barely knew anything is more than nothing. Follow them, put a tracker on them, see everything they do. I have people that are working to see if the leak came from computers or our systems. And I expect you to do this personally. No delegating to anyone else; the fewer people involved, the better."

When he gets back to his office, he unlocks his safe, pulls out his second phone.

 _'You better fabricate a leak from a computer. They're onto you, and possibly onto me.'_ He texts, throws his phone on his desk, puts his head in his arms.

He hates this.

_'Got that. Thank you, dear.'_

He can see Seungcheol's smirk even if the fucker is probably miles away from him. He hates him too, how he feels like his little bitch sometimes. The bitch that's fueling his business.

Then Wonwoo thinks about why he's doing this, throws his phone back into his safe, and gets to work.

* * *

Following an idol group is more boring than it is work. It's not even work, because Wonwoo doesn't actually do it. He puts someone on it, a poor rookie that thinks it's the most fun job of his life, despite what the Commissioner-General said.

Wonwoo won't be bothered to do it, not when he has to deal with hundreds of other cases. He knows the answer.

But then his boss sends them to a party with artists, to see what he can get out of them and see what they're up to. Wonwoo's displeasure is obvious, but he goes because he knows he'll be tracked. He doesn't know why the chief is pushing so much on this, thinking Jihoon is an important part of all of this.

There are two options here: he isn't, and Seungcheol just got himself into a big mess with him, which he'll get out of eventually, or he is, and they won't even get to touch him. It could be that if he is important to Seungcheol, reaching Jihoon might be helpful because a man in love is weaker, but Wonwoo knows better. Nothing they'll do will work if he truly is important.

He makes himself unnoticeable in the club, at a table to the side with a drink. He ordered vodka, spilled it down a drain, and replaced it with water, just to have the glass and look believable. He can see the group around; it's interesting that they have to come to these events too. He thought these were reserved for trainees or people that were hired, but this seems like a big enough party for it not to be noticeable. They mostly stick together because they don't actually have to entertain anyone, so it's easy for Wonwoo to keep an eye on Lee Jihoon. Some of them leave, and Wonwoo throws an eye to where they are, quickly loses them in the crowd.

Until someone is right in front of him, and Wonwoo almost startles. He doesn't because he's been trained, but it still takes him by surprise.

"I know you."

It's Jihoon's co-leader, he remembers. The one that was originally with him in the room. Kwon Soonyoung.

"Hmm?"

"I know you. You're the one that came to talk to us. You're following us."

Wonwoo keeps his expression straight.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

"You can tell whoever you want."

"I don't think I will. I think I'll keep it for myself."

How used must these kids be to this world if this one in front of him has the courage to talk to Wonwoo like that?

"What do you want?"

"You don't like him, do you? You're not happy to help him." Wonwoo's eyebrow raises. Who is this kid, really? "I could tell back then. You helped Jihoon, but you weren't happy."

Who is he to say who or what Wonwoo is? He's way too nosy for his own good.

"What's it to you?"

"Now whatever he does has an impact on us. And if you're following us and don't like him, I want to know why you are and what you want."

"If I wanted to follow you, kid, and bring trouble to you and your agency, I would've done it. Don't think anyone can stop me from doing that."

"So then why?"

"You have some people on your tail that could bring you trouble. I'm here out of courtesy so they don't. So you better leave."

"I don't buy that."

Wonwoo resists the urge to roll his eyes. Not everything is as deep as people think, and not everything has to be hidden.

"Well, you better, 'cause it's the truth. Leave."

"Fine. But I have the feeling I'll see you more often."

* * *

"They're an idol group, sir. They don't do much. He hasn't even gone home."

"And they don't even have a phone?"

"It's common that young artists or trainees don't."

He's lecturing the Commissioner-General on idols. Nice. This is exactly what he wants to do with his life.

"Fine. Tell me if something happens then. Now, down to business. I need you to be the key person in this case."

"Which case?"

"Your father's case. The main one, the Choi family prostitution business one."

Wonwoo's eyes widen. He can't do that. That would put him in direct opposition to Seungcheol. Seungcheol who is about to advance from his company to being the head of his empire without anybody to follow him; he's probably going to have one of his people lead the smaller company while integrating it into the larger business. Following him now would mean trying not to give away that it happened and that the empire even exists, and that someone else is CEO, which is going to be public.

This is disastrous since he doesn't know what happened when the same thing happened to Seungcheol's father, how did the police deal with it, if they did.

"Sir... I don't think I'm qualified to do that."

"You grew up with him, didn't you?"

"I did, but sir... I was a child. I knew nothing."

"You know more than absolutely anyone else in this police after also working with your father. You need to take this on."

"This is not my grade though. Sir, I'm only a Senior Superintendent."

"Until we appoint someone else as Chief Superintendent General, you have to be the main person. Now that Park died, this is not over, but the opposite. Now we need to push more than ever, honor his legacy. Do you understand?"

Wonwoo gulps. This means... this means trouble. Someone that high up could take months to years to be appointed; for Wonwoo, leading this case means extra supervision, needing to lead people that are higher up than him, coordinating the investigations into Seungcheol's houses. If he messes up, he could be found; if he pushes, he'll get in trouble with Seungcheol. He's caught between a rock and a hard place.

"Yes, sir. But if there is anyone who can take this over, please let them. I... I came back to work, but I do not know if I am qualified or able to deal with this yet," he pushes the emotional card. It's not that he's unaffected by his step-father's death; seeing his mother reminds him of that. It's just that he's understood he could do nothing about it.

"Son... I know it is hard," the Commissioner-General puts a hand on Wonwoo's shoulder, switches his tone to a more understanding one. "It's not easy seeing your father taken away in front of you, seeing him fail a mission like that too. But it's not only for him, but for all the people of Korea that you need to do this. If this falls into the hands of prosecutors, it could be a big issue that could turn public quickly. You can do this, Wonwoo. We all have faith in you."

Wonwoo collapses into his car when he exits the Commissioner General's office, takes a while until he can drive back to his station. This is really a big issue.

 _'We need to talk. Seriously.'_ He texts Seungcheol, sees him answer quickly with an address and a time, sees another text.

_'It's a party. Don't come in uniform.'_

* * *

It's years since he's been into one of the Choi family's houses. It's not even the main one, which is about to be Seungcheol's now, he guesses, since he wouldn't be caught dead entering that one.

He forgot how imposing everything is. You can tell the scale by how clean-cut it is; there are no hanging chandeliers, no fancy carpeting. This one is simple, classy, the Choi's trademark.

Seungcheol texted him instructions to get to the office, which is where the staff seems to be taking him, opening the door and closing it after Wonwoo comes in. Compared to the rest of the house, the office is more old-fashioned. The room is lowly-lit, the biggest wall filled with books, and the desk is solid oak, like the chairs. Wonwoo sits in the one in front of the desk right as the door opens.

"I see you've made yourself comfortable."

"Is my father here?"

"Yes, he's about to leave though. That's why I asked to meet here; I figured you might not want to see him."

"Hmm," Wonwoo hums in approval. He hasn't seen him since his mother and he left, and he'd like to keep it that way.

Seungcheol sits down in the chair behind the desk, puts his hands on the table.

"What's up?"

"I'm leading the case."

Seungcheol's eyebrows lift.

"You are?"

"Yes. Since Park is dead."

"That could be an issue."

"It's a big one. Who's going to be CEO of your company when you move up?"

"Haven't decided yet, but most probably Jaehwa."

"If you suddenly leave, they're going to ask me to follow you and see where you are, which might start giving stuff away. It's trouble because the Head Prosecutor's office is begging to get involved since Park died; his death and the whole case was suspicious to them. The Commissioner-General believes me, but others don't since the police and the prosecution are not having a great relationship right now too. If I don't do anything, they'll suspect me and I'll be screwed."

"So should I stay at the head of the company? Traditionally, you know the head doesn't take the CEO role in any of the sub-companies."

"It might play out against you if you leave. If it gets to the prosecution, unless you pay them off, which I am sure you can, it might prove to be trouble with you. But even if you do, something might leak and go public. You need to keep this contained. The prosecution isn't good at keeping their shit together."

"Do you think it could get solved in a few months until I take over? It's probably going to happen in the middle of the summer, around July or August, once I have this whole entertainment business sorted and integrated."

"Probably not. This whole transition is awful because when the case gets passed on, they'll still wonder why you left."

"Hmm... what if we appoint one of our people as a Chief Superintendent General, and have them take over the case? They'll stall it for as long as we need to."

"You could do that?"

"Probably. I have some names that come to mind. Worse gets to worst, we'll have a little talk with the President."

Wonwoo's expression screams displeasure.

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Fine then. I'll see who we can appoint, and how this can get buried before it gets to the Commissioner-General, since you said that if it gets to him, he might raise trouble, right? Eventually though, we'll have to integrate the houses just like we integrated the drug business, pretending it doesn't exist anymore, so there's a mostly blank slate for the next person to do."

"Your child, you mean. The next person is your child. Also that was a sketchy deal and you know it too. Nobody believes it just disappeared."

"I know, but what can they do? I don't even know how it works now, my father won't tell me until I get there. Thank you for telling me though, I'll take care of this."

"Did you tell him yet? That you need to have kids?" Wonwoo asks.

"You should come to the party. Your father just told me he left."

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"You should. People won't recognize you," Seungcheol tells him, and something tells Wonwoo he should. There's something there in how Seungcheol says it.

When they get to the party, he sees why. Lee Jihoon and his co-leader are there, in a dark corner, mostly hidden away from view. Seungcheol wants to prove a point.

"Wonwoo, I wanted you to meet Jihoon again. Under different circumstances."

"Lee Jihoon. I see you didn't take my advice to not get involved," he tells the kid, who huffs.

"It was a bit too late for that."

He tries to ignore his co-leader, but he's staring at him, so it doesn't work. Wonwoo remembers the awkward conversation from the club a few weeks ago, and turns his eyes to him. He smirks.

He thinks he knows where this is going. This kid wants more from him than to know what he's doing. Wonwoo's curious to say the least, so he sits down, accepts a drink. One won't affect him.

At some point, Seungcheol leaves with Jihoon. They want something out of this too then. It's interesting.

"Why did they leave?" He asks him, and the air turns.

"Because I asked them to."

"And you asked them to because?"

"Because I wanted to talk to you. They think it's because I'm into you."

"And you're not?" Wonwoo smirks. Fine, he'll play.

"Maybe. But that's not the main reason."

"What's the main reason?"

"I wanted to know someone that knows about this but is not directly working for him." His expression turns a bit serious.

"Why?"

"Because there should always be a way out. Jihoon got involved with him, so it's my job to get a second option and to protect my members."

"Aren't you being too straightforward? It's not good to lay all your cards on the table."

"That's how I play," Soonyoung says and lunges to kiss him.

* * *

"Um, I... don't bottom. I'm sorry."

Wonwoo blinks up at Soonyoung, who's shirtless and writhing in his lap with Wonwoo's hands on his hips and in the back of his pants. He assumed... and he apparently assumed wrong.

"I'm sorry," he repeats.

"Don't apologize," Wonwoo shakes his head. There's nothing to apologize for.

Wonwoo actually hasn't either in a long time, but right now, he really can't figure out why. For some reason, he's not opposed to the idea, actually. Which is questionable, to say the least, but Wonwoo doesn't want to ask himself questions now.

"It's fine. Here," he starts and gets up on his elbows, Soonyoung's face even closer to his now. "You can... you can do me."

Soonyoung's eyebrows lift in a question, looking somewhat torn between being surprised and guilty.

"You don't have to. We don't have to... I can suck you off or whatever."

"No, it's fine. I want you to."

Soonyoung looks more convinced after he stares at Wonwoo for a while, his hands still on Wonwoo's chest to hold himself up. For how passionate and rushed this started, it's getting really slow. He moves slowly in turn too, moving from straddling him to kneeling between his legs when Wonwoo parts his thighs for him.

The first touch to his thighs is almost hesitant; Soonyoung doesn't seem like the kind of person to hesitate, but now he seems a bit unsure, the weight he puts on his hands slowly increasing as he gains confidence. Wonwoo doesn't want to push him, because this is a weird dynamic anyway, and he doesn't want to scare him off.

The act of confidence Soonyoung put in the beginning of this night was mostly fake and a bit liquor-fueled too, and it's not like they're here because Wonwoo fell for it; he wouldn't have anyway. Despite playing hard to get, Wonwoo knew what he was getting himself into. He can see Soonyoung is loud and boisterous with people he knows, but he bets in situations he's unfamiliar with, he's way more serious and reserved, questioning. If he wasn't, Wonwoo wouldn't be here. This much he could tell even from the few interactions they've had.

Wonwoo wants him to be comfortable, to enjoy this despite how it's a little uncertain what is going on and the reasons for which both of them are here. It's a work in progress, that's for sure. So he doesn't mind just waiting, looking at him running his hands down his thighs and up his hips, almost testing how much he's allowed to touch.

"Can I take it off?" He asks, touching the bottom of Wonwoo's undershirt. He nods, sitting up so Soonyoung can drag it over his head.

Soonyoung's eyes immediately fixate on his left shoulder, and he doesn't blame him. Two bullet hole scars are not the prettiest, nor the most subtle thing to have.

He doesn't ask though. His eyes just kind of scan over it for a few seconds, before he looks into his eyes. Wonwoo looks back, before he figures it's time for him to take the wheel, and drags Soonyoung down to kiss him. There's no hesitation there, and why does Wonwoo want him?

Soonyoung's kisses pick up pace until he's eagerly biting at Wonwoo's lips and tangling their tongues, and Wonwoo tries to keep up as best as he can. It's actually truly been a while since he's had someone this eager in his bed, and he doesn't quite know what to do with him.

Thankfully, Soonyoung does know at least some stuff, pulling away to take his pants off as well, and when he does, Wonwoo remembers something. _Oh fuck._

"Umm..." he starts, and he can see the surprise and the worry play on Soonyoung's face. "No, don't worry, nothing's wrong. I just have to go... clean up."

"Oh," Soonyoung stops from crawling back on the bed, letting Wonwoo get up. It's not the most _pleasant_ part, but this is how life is, and if Soonyoung doesn't understand that much, perhaps he shouldn't be here. "I'll wait here," he nods, certain, and Wonwoo goes. He was never this happy to be home, and he's usually very happy to be home.

When he comes back, wearing the robe he keeps in his bathroom, he's met with the sight of Soonyoung lounging on his bed, looking towards him, a still obvious bulge in his briefs. He gets up on his knees as Wonwoo reaches the bed, and Wonwoo expects him to want to kiss him or something, except Soonyoung grabs the fabric belt and _pulls,_ Wonwoo falling towards him and kneeling next to him so he doesn't topple over him. That's when Soonyoung kisses him, maneuvering him on his back on the bed while he does, and something's changed since Wonwoo left. He's more confident now, surer in his motions. Whatever pep talk he gave himself, it seems to have worked.

"Can I take this off?" He asks, tugging at the belt, and Wonwoo nods. Soonyoung pulls at the knot until it unravels and falls to the side, Wonwoo naked underneath. It's been a long time also since he's felt insecure or anything of the sort, but Soonyoung's intense gaze on him is making him feel some kind of way. He wiggles out of the arms too, and Soonyoung helps him pull it from under him and throw it away, his hands immediately back on Wonwoo's navel.

He's kind of been half hard for a long time, and the fact that Soonyoung seems to want to take his time with learning the curves and the angles of his body with the tips of his fingers doesn't help. Wonwoo hands him the lube from the side of the bed to remind him to get on with it before Wonwoo gets impatient.

Soonyoung does, squirting the lube on his fingers and warming it up. Wonwoo's thighs move on instinct, and Soonyoung comes closer to him, and perhaps the mechanics of things are kind of not sexy, but he's still not quite turned off.

"Can you..." he starts and points at a pillow with his clean hand, and it takes a second for Wonwoo to get it, but when he does, he hands it to him. Soonyoung helps him put it under his hips so he's more comfortable.

It’s been a while since Wonwoo has let himself be topped, and by a kid like that nonetheless. But also, it’s been a long time since Wonwoo has had sex period, so.

And Soonyoung is different, very much unlike the people in dingy, dark clubs’ private rooms or in sketchy love motels that used to shove Wonwoo’s face in a dirty pillow so he wouldn’t make any noise since he used to be loud in bed, and then fuck him until they came and left right after. He remembers guiltily getting himself off to the feeling afterward because he never got to come while he was being fucked.

Soonyoung raises all those memories and wipes them, even his fingers in Wonwoo feeling careful and slow. He's _so_ careful, and admittedly, it somehow feels good. It's been a long time, but Wonwoo very much used to enjoy the feeling, and he doesn't mind it now either. Work, his responsibilities, and his status never really allowed him to go sleep with guys or go to clubs or the bars he knows he might find people at after he graduated, so he didn't. This... is a long time coming, so it feels off, but not bad.

He thought idols couldn't date or sleep around, but he's being proven wrong now, since Soonyoung is doing too well.

"You're not inexperienced," he tells him with a smirk, biting his lip when Soonyoung gets a little close to his spot.

"Not quite."

"Who do you sleep around with, hmm?" He asks. He's being more outspoken and cocky now than he would be, but he needs to keep some level of superiority here.

"Why do you want to know?" He asks in turn, coming closer to Wonwoo's lips, like he wants to kiss him, teasing.

"Just curious."

"Jihoon and I used to have sex often, when we were stressed or needed it," he admits.

Wonwoo's eyebrows raise, but his breathing is getting heavier because Soonyoung is almost intentionally brushing over his spot.

"Really? That's interesting."

Anything else he did want to say is forgotten when Soonyoung adds another finger and crooks them straight on his spot, so he quiets down with a heavy breath, his head arching on the pillow. Now it's starting to feel good, and Wonwoo is starting to get impatient.

When he thinks he's ready, he pushes at Soonyoung, before he really gets impatient.

"I'm good. I'm good, seriously, just..." Do something. That's what he thinks, and Soonyoung listens despite him not saying it.

He pushes in slowly, but it's still _so uncomfortable._ Wonwoo tries to calm down and take it, biting his lips to take away from the pain because it will get better, but no matter how much he tries, it's not supposed to hurt _this bad,_ no matter how long it has been. His hand pushes at Soonyoung's thigh to get him to stop before it really turns him off.

"Wait, wait." Soonyoung immediately freezes at his words, and Wonwoo does his best to look at him. Instead of continuing, Soonyoung pulls out really slowly, his expression so worried Wonwoo kind of feels bad for him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just... a lot. We don't have to stop, just... give me a second," Wonwoo breathes out. He really didn't mean to ruin this, but... he's been shot, stabbed, pushed off of buildings before, and it doesn't compare to the sheer discomfort of this.

"Can I... finger you more? If you want to." Soonyoung asks, almost hesitating to even do so, but Wonwoo nods, because that's not a terrible idea. He still kind of really wants him, and he doesn't give up easily.

Soonyoung adds more lube to his fingers and slowly puts one back inside him with another one soon enough and _that_ feels good, Wonwoo's breaths quickening with the drag of Soonyoung's fingers inside him. He's more careful this time since Wonwoo isn't rushing him either, taking his time to scissor them inside him. He quite knows what he's doing, he has to admit, and it kind of sparks the pleasure inside Wonwoo like it didn't before, when he was too eager to get to the main act before he lost his nerves.

"One more," Wonwoo whispers, and Soonyoung stops.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he answers and Soonyoung obliges, sliding a third finger inside him. Wonwoo groans at the feeling, still strange, but this time, not unwelcome. Soonyoung's crooking his fingers kind of close to his spot, which makes him grind a little on them, trying to get him deeper.

"Oh, right there," he groans when Soonyoung finds his spot, crooking his fingers right there. _That's it,_ and damn is Soonyoung good at this, he has to admit. He didn't think he'd be able to, but Soonyoung doesn't seem selfish at all, is actually kind of good at looking out for his partner too. An interesting discovery, considering how pushy he was before.

If he wasn't continuously grinding his fingers on his spot, perhaps Wonwoo would also be able to identify how it makes him feel. But alas, he's not. Soonyoung goes on, and at Wonwoo's prompting, but for real now, slides back inside him. _That is it,_ Wonwoo thinks again, because it feels good.

Soonyoung is gentle and slow, way too gentle and slow.

"Faster?"

"Yeah, you can go faster," he breathes out, looking back at him.

If he thought Soonyoung was holding back because he was hesitant or he couldn't do it, _he was wrong,_ because how Soonyoung just picked up his pace right then is definitely not holding back. His thrusts are hard and quick, angled perfectly, and maybe Wonwoo underestimated him just a little bit.

"Oh god, oh god, okay," he breathes out, grabbing at Soonyoung's wrist to hold on to something, maybe to tell him to stop, maybe to tell him to keep going _just like that._ Like this, Soonyoung's hitting his spot perfectly, Wonwoo's jaw dropping and his head arching back on instinct, overtaken by the sheer pleasure Soonyoung's giving him right now. _Fuck._

His eyes are shut closed, focusing on not coming too fast, so he only feels the hand on his neck and nape, brushing over his shoulder. Soonyoung is really something else, he thinks, pretending his boisterous attitude a little bit, but then being capable of being like _this_ in bed. It should be illegal, Wonwoo declares.

Maybe bottoming for him was a mistake. But besides how good it is, he feels that's not it. Like this is not a wrong choice he's made here, to get involved with him. Maybe it will help him get to Seungcheol, maybe it will help him get a better idea about what he's supposed to investigate, but it might be good. Wonwoo just has to keep his wits together.

But then Soonyoung kisses him, his tongue slipping into Wonwoo's mouth, and Wonwoo is having quite a hard time keeping his wits together when he comes.

* * *

Soonyoung wakes up even earlier than Wonwoo's 6 AM, as he hears him rustling and swearing, trying to get to his clothes in the darkness of the bedroom.

"You can turn the light on," he groans, voice raspy with sleep.

"Oh," Soonyoung startles. "Okay."

He does, and Wonwoo slowly blinks awake, standing up. He puts on some sweatpants and a shirt and goes to the kitchen to make coffee, now that he's awake. Soonyoung joins him when he's fully dressed. He's hesitant, none of the confidence and boisterous attitude from last night.

Wonwoo's sore, so he hopes the kid feels at least a little bit guilty, he thinks with some level of bitterness.

"Umm..." he starts, and Wonwoo turns to him, leaning on the counter with a cup of coffee.

"Want some?" He interrupts, pointing to the cup.

"No, I'm okay. I don't drink coffee in the mornings."

Wonwoo nods, and waits for him to pick up his words again.

"I don't want you to think I slept with you just because... you're not working with him. Or I guess you are... anyway. It's not because of that."

"That's not what you said last night though," Wonwoo pushes, sipping at his coffee.

"I mean..." he huffs, pursing his lips and rolling his eyes. Short temper. "Not only because of that. I... was into you. Am into you."

"That's convenient. You've met me three times, and we didn't exactly get to talk."

"I know, but that doesn't mean I'm not." Wonwoo's eyebrow lifts in disbelief.

"Look, kid. You don't have to pretend. It's fine, you want something from me, whatever it is, and you don't have to justify that."

"But I didn't sleep with you because I wanted something from you. I just... I wanted to," he says, a bit fiery. Short temper indeed, and needs to prove himself. For some reason, Wonwoo believes it. The kid looks like he can't really lie. It probably was convenient for him to act on what he wanted, and what he wanted was Wonwoo, so he did it. He doesn't look like one of those privileged idol kids that are used to getting everything though, which he keeps in mind.

"Fine. So then what?"

"Can I see you again?" Wonwoo huffs with laughter, but the kid stands his ground, looks fierce, determined.

"Sure."

* * *

And that's how Soonyoung enters Wonwoo's life. In a fairly ridiculous way, leaving Wonwoo questioning why, and then ending up with no answer. But letting him in anyway, because Wonwoo's learned there's nothing that can really stop Kwon Soonyoung.

* * *

"What?"

"Nothing," Soonyoung answers, and Wonwoo turns his eyes to him. Soonyoung doesn't turn his away.

"Aren't you supposed to be doing things? You came here saying you also have work and can't do it at the dorm."

"Yes. But I can't focus."

"Why?" Wonwoo narrows his eyes.

"You're wearing _a crop top._ "

"It's not a crop top, I told you. It's just a short shirt."

"If you extend your arms, I can see your stomach. It's a crop top."

"What are you, a teenager who gets horny at a sliver of skin?"

"Maybe," he says and stands up, coming to Wonwoo's desk from his place on the couch. "Can I suck you off?"

Wonwoo rolls his eyes but rolls his chair back too, making room for Soonyoung to drop to his knees between his legs. Why he puts up with whatever he wants, he doesn't know. Maybe it's because he hasn't seen him in a while, with his comeback and his preparations for their tour next month.

Or maybe it's because Soonyoung is kind of good at sucking dick. That's also something he didn't expect, but he's passionate and kind of sloppy and really eager to please, so Wonwoo enjoys it. A lot.

One of his hands tugs on what he can't take, or doesn't want to take yet, and his other pushes up Wonwoo's shirt up to his chest, so Soonyoung can tug at his nipples. He's never been too sensitive, but he's sensitive enough for it to hit him.

Soonyoung's eyes look up at him, wider now than the usual, and Wonwoo shudders. He's so close, he tugs at Soonyoung's hair to let him know, and Soonyoung pulls off, Wonwoo coming on his hand and a little bit on his face, making a mess out of him and Wonwoo too. He takes Wonwoo's cock back in his mouth then though, sucking on the tip and cleaning him up, his eyes still looking up at him.

It's not that Wonwoo doesn't appreciate it, but now he has to clean up.

"Do me too," Soonyoung whines.

"Be patient. Was gonna clean you up."

"Oh. Okay," he nods and waits for Wonwoo to find the tissues, climbing in his lap when he turns back with them in hand. It's kind of uncomfortable because Wonwoo's office chair from his house is not that suitable for things like that, but Soonyoung's flexible, so it works.

Wonwoo tugs at the zipper of his jeans and scolds him.

"Why are you always so impatient?"

"I'm not, you're just slow."

He shuts up when Wonwoo gets a hand on his cock, tugging at him slowly. He doesn't complain when Wonwoo edges him to hell and back or...

"You didn't complain when I spent hours riding you."

"Cause that's fun. And you looked good on top of me," he smirks, almost cockily. Wonwoo squeezes the base of his cock and shuts him up quick.

Soonyoung kisses him then, eager as always, slipping his tongue in Wonwoo's mouth way too quickly. Wonwoo paces him down, slows down himself.

"Gonna come," he whispers millimeters from Wonwoo's mouth. Romantic.

So Wonwoo keeps going, dips a thumb into his slit and gets him off quicker, and Soonyoung comes all over his shirt and hand with a long, loud moan.

"You ruined my shirt," Wonwoo says as a matter-of-fact. He doesn't care much about it, but.

"It's just at the bottom. You can cut more from it," he smiles, a corner of his mouth turning up. "It's my favorite shirt now."

Wonwoo pushes him off of him, Soonyoung walking to the couch. When he comes back, having changed his clothes, Soonyoung is tucked in the couch with his notebook like a contented puppy, letting the shirt Wonwoo throws him hit him in the face.

"Change. Don't want anything on my couch."

Soonyoung does, smiles at him in thanks, tucks himself back into the couch. It would be almost cute, if Wonwoo could focus on his work now and not on the look on Soonyoung's face with Wonwoo's come on his lips. Truthfully, he never gets any work done with Soonyoung around.

* * *

Wonwoo wakes up immediately when his phone starts vibrating on the nightstand, his years of training having made him a light sleeper.

The caller ID says Soonyoung, so he picks it up.

"What?" he says, awake instantly.

"Can I come over?" His voice sounds like he was crying, somehow agitated.

"Sure," he answers, running a hand through his hair. He didn't get a lot of sleep this week because of a difficult case, and he was looking forward for a few hours of shut-eye. But Soonyoung sounds genuinely distressed, and sleep can wait.

"I'm... almost there." Oh. Okay.

"Taking a Kakao taxi?"

"Yes. I'll be there in 2."

"I'll pick you up from the parking lot," he tells Soonyoung, puts on a hoodie above his shirt and leaves his apartment, heading to the elevator and down. He sees when Soonyoung exits the taxi almost at the same time, and he heads to him.

"What's up?"

"I'll... can I tell you upstairs?"

"Yeah. Let's go." He quickly checks to see there are no cameras or anything suspicious, and follows Soonyoung into the elevator, looking at him. His eyes are downcast, and when he turns them up to look at Wonwoo, they're red and puffy. So he was crying.

He keys in the code to his bedroom, lets Soonyoung in with a hand on his back. He takes his shoes off, like he always does, and joins Wonwoo in the living room, dropping down on the couch.

"What's wrong?" Wonwoo asks, his tone serious. It seems like it's pretty bad, since he's never seen Soonyoung like this.

"I... something pretty bad happened and I had to tell someone."

"What is it? Tell me," Wonwoo prods, seeing Soonyoung's eyes fall to the pillow in his lap he's fiddling with.

"I..." he breathes in. "The reason I don't bottom is not out of principle or whatever. I... when I was a trainee, there was this other one. He was like 3 years older than me, was probably not going to debut anytime soon and would be cut, but... he was one of those Pledis used for meetings and sponsors and parties and so. Jihoon and I... were kind of already messing with each other back then, and... he found us. Took some pretty suggestive pictures of us, like hugging or stuff, almost kissing. Not terrible, but if he went to Pledis with them... it was going to be pretty bad for Jihoon and I, especially since we didn't debut yet." Wonwoo swallows, keeps quiet and waits for Soonyoung to finish his story before he gets angry.

"He came to me with them, said he liked me, and if I didn't do what he said, he'd go to Pledis with them. He didn't like me, he liked Jihoon and only wanted to bring me down, but... I did. I slept with him. And he took pictures then too. I didn't tell Jihoon anything, he didn't know, and I didn't know for a while either, that he did." Wonwoo's jaw clenches.

"But it didn't feel good. It happened for maybe a few weeks or so, I did my best to avoid him. But one night I couldn't and... it was pretty bad. Mentally and physically. The next day, I had a monthly check-in assignment and I... couldn't do it. Everything hurt and my body crashed there and I fell and it was a mess, and because I was already out of it for a while, they... kicked me out. I felt terrible, I hated my body and myself and the fact that it had an influence on me.

Going home then... it was the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I felt terrible, seeing my mom and dad." That's when he starts crying, his voice twisting, tears falling down his face. Wonwoo doesn't know what to do, if to grab his hand to comfort him, if not. He doesn't, just comes closer to him. "But I told Jihoon, why that happened, and somehow got the courage to tell Pledis, and when they confronted the trainee, he showed them the photos of me. But I was a minor, and they kicked him out, and took me back in when I went there and fought for it. They never found out about Jihoon and I." He looks at Wonwoo now, lifts his red eyes to him. Wonwoo thinks he can see where this is going.

"He... contacted me today. Because our comeback was really successful... he found my number and texted me. Said I wouldn't want those pictures released, right? I better find some way to pay him. And I don't know what to do. I don't know if to ignore it or to threaten him in turn... what if I do and he releases them and everything is over?" His voice quiets down to the end, like he can't even bear saying it.

Wonwoo comes closer to him, and Soonyoung opens up minutely, lets Wonwoo hug him. Wonwoo does, takes him in his arms and puts Soonyoung's head on his shoulder, caresses his hair. He hates this world sometimes, and the people in it.

"What do I do? What can I do?"

"Does Jihoon know? That he contacted you?" Wonwoo asks, pulling away, but still keeping a hand in Soonyoung's.

"No. I didn't tell him yet."

"I'll take care of it. Who is he?"

Soonyoung's eyes widen like he didn't expect that.

"Oh... you... don't have to. I didn't come for that..."

"I know. But I'm going to do it anyway, because trash like that has no place in the world, and you shouldn't deal with this alone. You said you were a minor, right? And he still has those photos?"

"Yes... I don't know if he does, he said he did."

"Okay. Tell me his details tomorrow."

"Hyung... you don't..."

"Stop, Soonyoung-ah. Just... don't worry. Leave it to me. You should probably tell Jihoon though."

"I will... okay."

"Come on. Let's sleep. I'll drive you back in the morning, wake me up when you need to go," he takes Soonyoung's hand, who looks exhausted, drags him up from the couch.

"Not until late. It's okay," Soonyoung says and follows him to the bedroom, takes the shirt and sweatpants Wonwoo gives him and changes, joining him on the bed.

Wonwoo gathers him in his arms, Soonyoung's head tucking into his neck.

"It will be okay. Don't worry."

"Thank you, hyung. You... didn't have to. I'm sorry for asking for help."

"It's alright. You're fine. Asking for help doesn't make you weak and you never need to apologize for it. It's alright."

Soonyoung nods then, Wonwoo feeling his head move. His hand instinctually goes in his hair, strokes it until he hears Soonyoung's breath even, and closes his eyes.

* * *

He toys with the phone in his hand the next day at his desk. He could... he could arrest him, but that will probably make it worse for Soonyoung because that would set him off. There's a very low chance he's actually into child porn, which is a reason he could get him booked, but if he's not and sets him off, that could be bad again.

So he calls.

 _"What's up. You never call,"_ Seungcheol says.

"I need a favor."

_"What is it?"_

"Can you hack into someone's computer or have Junhui do it without leaving a trace?"

_"Of course. Why?"_

Wonwoo tells him the story, albeit a shortened version of it. He trusts Seungcheol not to do anything with it, not even tell Jihoon, which he mentions.

_"Consider it done. I'll have it to you in the next few hours."_

Wonwoo does barely any work before the phone rings and he picks it up.

"What's up?"

_"Nothing else. Found those photos though."_

"You did?"

_"Yeah. Junhui said he can delete them. They're only on his computer, he didn't send them anywhere, not in Kakao, not in emails, not uploaded anywhere. He checked all accounts. He did text him though, which is stupid. The only issue is if he has it anywhere else, like on a hard drive or anything. Or if anyone else has them. And if they suddenly disappear from his computer..."_

"I don't think he's _that_ stupid, to tell someone he basically raped a minor, and then show them proof."

_"True."_

"He seems careless though. I don't think threatening him would work. Can we get rid of him?"

_"What do you need?"_

"Just... make sure he doesn't remember anything, do it preferably when he's at work or at school or whatever the hell he does. Something that can't be traced; poison or maybe something related to his health records, I'll pull those and send them over. Preferably don't kill him, but if he dies later of something that seems natural, it's fine. People should just not look into it. I'll raid the apartment then, make sure there's no hard drives or anything."

_"Sure. I'll get on to that, I'll tell you the details when I have them."_

"Make sure it looks accidental, so it's not suspicious to others that might know. He might have bragged about fucking an idol or something dumb like that. I'm worried also because he was in Pledis so if something comes out, connections might be made."

_"Will do. I don't think Pledis wants to be associated with him though, so I don't think they'd care even if it got to them. I know them, and they don't want to mess with me after I took over the business, so if there's anything, I'll just amp up the protectiveness over Jihoon's entire group. Will keep a handle on the press though, see if there's anything that might come out. If it does, I'll squish it or we can release something else."_

"Thank you. I seriously owe you one. I can't quite do it myself."

 _"You don't. It's fine. But Wonwoo-ya..."_ He says, hinting at his actual question.

"Don't, please. Nothing to talk about." Not to Seungcheol for sure.

_"If you say so. But if you do want to talk, I know how you feel. I've been there."_

* * *

He tells Soonyoung it's been taken care of a few days later, and Soonyoung's eyes widen. Wonwoo also tells him not to go digging under any circumstances, but the look in his eyes...

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" Soonyoung's eyes widen at the table.

"Have that look. Don't feel guilty. Karma will come back to us all eventually."

"Okay... I just..."

"No. No. It's done, that's it. Live your life, and focus on your work. That's what we do."

Kill. We kill, for the people that we care about. That's what "we" do.

"Okay. Thank you. Seriously."

"For nothing," Wonwoo says, goes back to his food. He can feel Soonyoung's eyes on him before he digs back into his noodles and turns them away, and Wonwoo's eyes turn up to look at him instead. Even Seungcheol could tell, god damn.

"Hyung..." Soonyoung starts, and Wonwoo hums to show he heard, meeting his gaze. "Do you have friends?"

Wonwoo's eyebrows raise, his constant look around Soonyoung, apparently.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean like... you never mentioned anyone to me. And you don't do anything besides stay at home. There's no pictures in your apartment of other people. What do you do besides work?"

"I... read a lot." His library could speak for that, probably. "I watch movies, and I used to play games sometimes."

"That's all at home though. By yourself."

"That's alright. I deal enough with people at work."

"So who do you hang out with?"

"My brother, I visit my mother sometimes. I have some friends from work and some friends from the academy, I guess."

"How often do you meet them besides when you have to for work?"

Never. The answer is never.

"Sometimes. Why are you all on me now?"

"Hyung... you deal with a lot of interesting and exhausting stuff at work and I bet it's hard, but besides that, your life is..." Boring. That's the word, Wonwoo knows. Boring.

It's not that he doesn't have people he could interact with, but he doesn't want to. He _likes_ his boring life, likes being at home and reading about interesting things and people and ideas.

"I like it that way. Social engagements are a chore, and not all of us want to do them."

"They are, but hyung, people are not a chore. You need to do more. Push yourself so you're not alone all the time."

"I'm not. You're here, aren't you?" Wonwoo says after a bite, and doesn't even realize what he said. "I hang out with you often." Soonyoung blinks.

"Why do you?" He throws, curious, like Wonwoo has to answer.

Why does he? He's thought about it. Soonyoung is the kind of person he usually doesn't like: he's loud, boisterous, makes awful jokes and is too cocky. He's sure that's how people would describe him, or at least, that's from the interviews and variety shows with him Wonwoo's watched at home.

But with Wonwoo, he's not like that. Soonyoung's way calmer, still loud and forward with what he wants, but not in an annoying way; he's more convincing than pushy. In many instances, Soonyoung's seen books that he was reading on his coffee table and got Wonwoo into deep conversations; he's incredibly smart, and his loud attitude doesn't mean he's not observant or knowledgeable about people and things. Soonyoung suits him, enough for Wonwoo to realize his guard is not up around him that much, and he could see himself showing him some of his more crazy side, the one he's kept under lock for years since it was never appropriate or welcomed. They balance each other; he's not blind to that. He paces Soonyoung down, and he makes his life more interesting.

"I don't know," Wonwoo answers. Soonyoung's hurt; it flashes in his eyes. "You're just... I don't mind you. It's fun. And it's not like I can stop you," he says.

"I can stop coming by."

"No. Don't."

* * *

Soonyoung like this, spread out on his bed with marks on his chest he asked Wonwoo to leave is a sight he can get used to. He gets up from his exploration to kiss him slowly, Soonyoung eager as always, and Wonwoo slowing him down also as usual. They actually haven't seen each other in more than a week, since they were both too busy.

"Umm," Soonyoung starts when Wonwoo pulls away.

"What's up?"

"I thought about it a lot and... I really trust you. I want to try to bottom for you too." Wonwoo's eyebrows raise.

"You don't have to. I'm okay with it."

"I know, but I wanna try. Maybe not all the way right now, but."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I want it," he says, biting his lip, and Wonwoo is sold.

"Okay," he whispers, finding his lube in his "fun" nightstand drawer, that he's started restocking and didn't show Soonyoung yet. "Are you good?"

"Yeah. I cleaned up."

"Okay," he says again, drops the little bottle and goes back with his lips on Soonyoung's navel, dragging his boxers down. He's almost hard from barely anything, and Wonwoo takes him in his hand, spreading the pre-come over him so the slide is easier. Soonyoung's breath hitches at the smallest touches, way too sensitive.

"What's wrong with you? You're so on edge," Wonwoo asks, smoothing a hand over Soonyoung's naked stomach, feeling his abs tense instinctually.

"We haven't had sex in so long and I haven't even touched myself in a week cause I was so busy, so I'm dying here. I really fucking wanted you."

Wonwoo won't admit it, but something in his chest jumps at Soonyoung's breathy admission, how frank he was with him. He appreciates it, and if it turned him on a little, that's for him to know.

He takes his time with little touches, getting Soonyoung to spread his legs and placing kisses on his inner thighs. Marks were not a thing before Soonyoung asked now, so it's interesting to see them bloom on his pale skin, knowing they'll be there when he performs on stage. It's maybe a bit too intimate, Wonwoo doesn't know how to feel.

But he puts it aside to focus on how Soonyoung's reacting, so eager for Wonwoo's touches. He's slow with propping Soonyoung's hips up with a pillow, slow to get the lube and spread it on his fingers to warm it up. When he touches him, Soonyoung gasps, twitches.

"Still okay?"

"Yeah. Just... surprising. Keep going. Please."

Wonwoo does, slides one finger inside of him, hearing Soonyoung's sharp intake of breath. The beginning is an awkward feeling, so he gets his other hand caressing Soonyoung's side, trying to distract him. It's not like he's thinking when he sees Soonyoung's open mouth in surprise, lets his own mouth run.

"You're doing great. You're so good," he says, maybe a bit flat. He's awkward with things like these, but Soonyoung looks like he appreciates it, some of the tension leaving his body.

When he's relaxed enough, Wonwoo starts moving slowly, in and out for the littlest bit.

"Oh. It feels..."

"Yeah?" Wonwoo prods.

"It feels okay."

"You're doing great."

Out of instinct, his lips touch his chest, moving up over his neck to kiss him, and Soonyoung accepts his kiss with a slight moan, slower this time. There's less tension in his body, like the pleasure's hitting.

"Can you add another one?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Wonwoo does that, sliding two fingers in and out of him slowly. Soonyoung lets out a long moan when he does, his head arching on the pillow. Wonwoo's not surprised he's so responsive, so sensitive. Now Wonwoo can relax too, seeing him enjoy it. He doesn't try to scissor his fingers or anything, just focuses on Soonyoung's pleasure, on the way certain things Wonwoo does play on his face.

When Soonyoung's eyebrows furrow and he starts unconsciously rotating his hips, Wonwoo crooks his fingers to try to find his spot. He knows when he does, because Soonyoung startles so bad he almost slips out of Wonwoo's grip on his waist.

"Oh, god. Please do that again, please, _oh wow._ "

He tries to do it, crook his fingers the same way, and Soonyoung startles again with a long moan, his back arching from the bed.

"So that's how that feels. Oh my," he whispers, his breath short.

"You never tried this?"

"No, oh god. Never knew how it feels. Fuck it's good. That's why everybody loves it," he says with a wide smile, Wonwoo can tell unconsciously, like he can't believe it. His eyes are still closed; he's really letting go with him.

Slowly, he starts grinding down on Wonwoo's fingers, and Wonwoo picks up his pace. There are little curse words slipping out, along with breathy little 'ahh's. There's determination to chase that pleasure on his face like it's a competition with himself, his eyes scrunching.

Wonwoo gets a hand on his cock when Soonyoung seems closer to coming, and he startles his eyes open, looking up at Wonwoo.

"Oh god."

"Good?"

"Yeah, keep going, _ohh._ "

Wonwoo's lips attach to his neck, leaving little kisses along his pulse point, under his jaw.

"Faster. More, please," Soonyoung begs with a low voice, his moans constant and his eyes closed, and Wonwoo obliges, tries to hit his spot more constantly and tug at him faster, hearing how much louder he gets.

Soonyoung doesn't quite know quiet; he's always let Wonwoo know how good he looks or whatever else passes his mind, and he's not surprised to hear how talkative he is now too: moans, breathy noises, curse words, and Wonwoo thinks he can hear his name there once or twice. It's kind of nice to hear.

"I'm close," he whispers, Wonwoo feeling him tighten around him. "I'm so close, please," and Wonwoo takes mercy on him, settles on just rubbing his spot, seeing Soonyoung grind down on his fingers to get him deeper in that unconscious feeling of wanting more and more, getting there, trying to get the tension to build up. It's the best kind of build-up, when it's prolonged and it gets you out of your mind, focusing on nothing but getting to where your body wants to be.

Wonwoo looks at him when he comes with a long moan, sees how his eyes scrunch and how his lips open in a large O, biting his lip quickly after. The pleasure travels through his entire body, making him twitch and shudder in Wonwoo's grip. He's less loud when he actually comes, more surprised than anything at the force of it. He looks beautiful, and Wonwoo never thought he'd say that about a person's face when they come.

He strokes him throughout his orgasm, throughout the last twitches of his body, after which he sees Soonyoung relax on the pillows. When he does, Wonwoo slowly takes his fingers out too, wipes them on the sheets. They're ruined, so they'll need to go anyway.

"Good?" He asks and Soonyoung nods, his eyes opening to look at Wonwoo.

"Great. That felt great. Never knew it could feel this good. Now I get it," he lunges up to kiss him and Wonwoo does, goes with him until his head is flat on the pillow. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I liked it too."

"You liked fingering me? Did that excite you?" He smirks, instantly changing the look in his eyes, one hand cupping Wonwoo's cheek. He's a performer through and through, too cocky for someone that just came from Wonwoo's hands on him.

"Yeah."

"Why did it?"

"Your face. The expressions. How needy you were." Soonyoung gets that look he has when Wonwoo says something he didn't expect; something between surprise, happiness, a bit of cockiness because he made Wonwoo admit it.

"You should talk dirty to me sometime. I'm sure you'd be so good at that, would know just the right things to say."

"Maybe."

Soonyoung kisses him, a peck on the lips that's both excited and pushy. Not calm at all.

"Come here," he drags Wonwoo by his wrist on top of him until he's straddling him. "Wanna fuck you."

"You're good for that?"

"I'm young, compared to you, old man. I can get hard again."

Wonwoo glances at him and gets up to wash his hands, find a condom. When he comes back, Soonyoung's slowly tugging at himself, his eyes trained on Wonwoo. Wonwoo straddles him completely naked this time, gets two lubed fingers inside himself while Soonyoung is stroking himself off, looking at him.

"With this sight, how can I not get hard again?" He stops, gets both hands on Wonwoo's thighs and drags him closer until their cocks align and Soonyoung can stroke both of them together. Wonwoo's getting impatient, adds another finger maybe too quick because Soonyoung looks kind of hot right now, more paced out and lazy after his orgasm, and Wonwoo can admit he wants him too.

He puts the condom on him with one hand, Soonyoung helping him roll it down before he's done, moves up so Soonyoung's cock aligns with his hole and he can drop down on him.

"Yes, that's it," he hisses at Wonwoo with a smile, his hands back on his thighs. The stretch is uncomfortable but since they've started doing this, Wonwoo got used to it, finds more pleasure in it right at the beginning. There's no pressure to go faster, Wonwoo barely lifting himself up because Soonyoung's cock deep inside him is the best kind of feeling. He grinds his hips down on him, which he knows feels better for him than it does for Soonyoung, but you wouldn't say, by the look in his eyes.

Soonyoung's hands wander across his body, from his abs to his chest, over his nipples, which he tugs at. If he wants to draw it out then fine, Wonwoo's down. He bends down to take the pressure off his thighs, lay on his elbows and get Soonyoung even deeper. Like this, Soonyoung can get his hands on Wonwoo's hips, presses and holds him down, circling his hips on him, which kind of drives Wonwoo crazy. Wonwoo keeps the rhythm, feels Soonyoung's hands go to his lower back and down, pressing on his ass, following Wonwoo's movement and grinding him down on him. He does this thing where he'll brush his fingers over Wonwoo's stretched hole, feeling where they're joined, and Wonwoo honestly _loves it._ He thinks Soonyoung can feel his breath hitch when he does it, plants his feet on the bed so he can drive up into Wonwoo more powerfully, but not faster. Wonwoo can feel the drag of his cock inside him all slow and everything, drawn out. Who can blame him for kind of falling for Soonyoung, when he does _that?_

When Soonyoung changes angles and hits his spot, Wonwoo's composure slips.

"Goddamn," he groans, his head falling into Soonyoung's neck. Soonyoung keeps going, and then changes angles again and moves away from his spot, and Wonwoo wants to strangle him. So he takes it upon himself to change his position, fucking down onto Soonyoung faster. Enough with drawn out, he wants to come.

He moves around until he finds it again, determinedly grinding down on Soonyoung until he's almost there, and like he knows, Soonyoung gets a hand on his cock to push him there. When he lets go, the pleasure bursts behind his eyelids and he does nothing but grind down on Soonyoung, biting his lip in pleasure, his eyes closed because he can't help it. The fact that Soonyoung can do this to him...

He deserves recompense for being so good, so Wonwoo keeps going after he's recovered a little, bounces on his cock, which he knows Soonyoung feels. By the look in his eyes, he appreciates Wonwoo's efforts, groans when Wonwoo purposely tightens down around him.

"Fuck, baby," the pet name slips, and Wonwoo kind of startles. Soonyoung doesn't even look like he realized it, his eyes closed. He won't give thought to it now. Not the time.

Soonyoung opens his eyes before he comes, looks straight into Wonwoo's as his mouth forms into a smirk and Wonwoo feels him come into the condom, Soonyoung's hands on his hips keeping him buried deep inside Wonwoo. There's something in the air, something there that he can't pinpoint. It was so much like the usual, and so much not.

Soonyoung slips out of him, Wonwoo takes the condom off of him and ties it, throws it in the bin. After he does, he tries to get up, but Soonyoung wraps a hand around his wrist and drags him down so that their chests are pressed together.

"Baby," he whispers. His voice is half-teasing, half-serious.

_Damn Kwon Soonyoung._

"Soonyoung-ah..." He starts like a warning, but doesn't know what to say. Don't do that? Does he want him not to do that?

So Soonyoung kisses him, knowing he's gotten him, a hand on his nape keeping Wonwoo in place. Wonwoo reciprocates, bites his bottom lip and sucks his tongue in, and it's filthy. Wonwoo doesn't know what the hell has gotten into him, but it's there.

It's something to think about, to say the least.

* * *

He's lounging on the couch with Soonyoung a few days after, trying to do work. They've been incredibly busy lately with an assault case against a foreigner that's gotten public attention, and he's been pressured by his superiors to get it done quick. More often than not, he took work home, and missed many hours of sleep over the past days.

This time, when Soonyoung comes over, Wonwoo can tell he's stressed too, intensely monitoring performances and practices before their tour starts in the next weeks. There's no messing around, and Wonwoo finds that with Soonyoung here, he's actually more productive.

And then his phone rings, the private one he uses with Seungcheol. If he doesn't call, Seungcheol barely does either. He doesn't recognize the number, but nobody has this phone, so he answers.

"Hello?" Soonyoung turns his eyes to him, silently.

 _"Is this Jeon Wonwoo?"_ Wonwoo freezes. He doesn't use that name anymore.

"Yes. Who is this?"

_"We're calling from the Samsung Medical Center, regarding your father; Mr. Choi gave me your number. We're sorry to say..."_

Wonwoo tunes them out. This is not happening.

"How did he...?"

_"A bullet wound punctured his lungs and he didn't make it. We're sorry. If you would like to come, we will have someone receive you, as I understand this is a sensitive matter."_

When he hangs up, he looks at Soonyoung.

"What's wrong?" He asks, his expression worried.

"My father's dead."

"I thought... he died in that mission?"

"No. My real father."

"Oh... Oh my god," Soonyoung says and instinctually lunges at him to hug him tight. Wonwoo's blank, he doesn't know what to say.

"Let's go. I'll come with you."

"You don't have to..."

"Let's go."

* * *

When he walks into Seungcheol's hospital room, after seeing his father's unmoving body in the morgue, he's blank. Soonyoung walks after in, walking to where Jihoon is; Wonwoo notices him from the corner of his eye, but doesn't mind him.

"You killed him," Wonwoo says, facing Seungcheol. The sight of Seungcheol, alive and well while his father is _dead_ sparks anger in him. A kind of bottomless anger inside him, that somehow leaves him feeling empty. Empty and cold.

"I'm sorry," Seungcheol says, slow. His arm is in a holder of some sort and he genuinely looks torn, incredibly guilty. Wonwoo doesn't care. "He died to save me. Someone had betrayed us, and he stepped in front of a bullet meant for me for people to have enough time to come in. I'm sorry. We didn't leave him behind but... it was too late. He saved me, I have... I'm sorry."

The words make Wonwoo shiver, just imagining... he was probably happy to die wiping clear the sins of his past.

Wonwoo still doesn't care.

"He died for the family, for me. He was happy to do it," Seungcheol says, like it makes anything better. Like it will soothe the rage and shock Wonwoo has inside him right now.

"I don't care," he says, approaching Seungcheol. "I don't care what he died for. I don't care what he believed in, he wasn't supposed to die. You let him die. I helped you all this time, and you let him die," he fists Seungcheol's shirt, pulling at it. Seungcheol doesn't react. "You were probably happy to see him go, weren't you? Finally getting rid of him," he snarls, seeing red, like he's looking at Seungcheol through a wall.

"I wasn't..."

"We were always _nothing_ to you. My father or me, or my family, _nothing_ unless we were useful to you. _Nothing_ unless we were willing to die for you or kill for you. And then when we weren't, we were the outcasts, the shamed ones, the unworthy," he shouts in Seungcheol's face, _hates_ how Seungcheol is quiet. He can't even deny it.

"You killed him, Seungcheol. You and whoever guilted him into feeling terrible for not wanting to kill years ago, until he was _brainwashed to feel thankful_ for you taking him back. You killed him years ago, you and your father. But now that he's really gone..." Wonwoo lets go of his shirt, looks him square in the eyes. "All bets are off. And I'll show you how it is to lose it all."

* * *

"Don't."

"Soonyoung. Let go of my wrist."

"No. Pass me the keys."

"Just... I'll take you home."

"I said no. Just listen to me. Give me the keys."

For some goddamn reason, Wonwoo does. There's no space for arguing, no space inside his head to even think. He just passes the keys to Soonyoung, who takes them and opens the car. Wonwoo gets on the passenger seat, staring ahead. Now that his anger is fading away, all he feels is numbness. Nothingness.

They get back, Soonyoung opening the door, and Wonwoo takes his coat off, putting it on the rack. It's a simple motion, taking his shoes off, walking into his house, going to the room, sitting on the bed. Soonyoung joins him, but Wonwoo can't really look at him.

What do you do, when what you've been fighting for is just gone? Wonwoo betrayed his new family, his job, his morals for years, to ensure his father could continue living and his family was safe. Now he's just gone, and out of his own will. What does Wonwoo live for now?

* * *

In the morning, Soonyoung has coffee ready for him. Thankfully, it's Sunday, so Wonwoo doesn't have to go to work.

"Don't you have to be at practice?" He asks Soonyoung, who shakes his head.

"Not until the evening."

Wonwoo recalls he did start it early in the morning.

"Go if you need to. I'm alright."

"No. It's fine."

Wonwoo stares at him, but Soonyoung stares back. He puts his cup down, probably tea, and walks to Wonwoo. Wordlessly, he hugs him, and Wonwoo hugs him back, closes his eyes and leans into him.

Maybe it feels good, to have Soonyoung here now. It makes him feel better, a little bit.

"I should tell you about it."

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

Soonyoung pulls away and nods, goes to the fridge to get beer for Wonwoo and water for himself, and follows him to the couch in the living room.

Wonwoo settles down and takes it, and Soonyoung is quiet when he looks at him.

"So... I was born a year later than Seungcheol, you know that. My father was a close advisor to Seungcheol's father, and one of his trusted people for missions and things. We were very close to the main family, so Seungcheol and I grew up together, more or less."

Soonyoung nods, but Wonwoo can tell he's surprised. He must've known some stuff, maybe from Jihoon, but he bets he doesn't know everything.

"When he was 9, Seungcheol's mother died in a car accident. That's when a lot of things changed. Seungcheol's father married another woman, things were rocky for a while, my father lost a little bit of leeway with Seungcheol's father. And then, when I was almost 10, Seungcheol was 11, my father messed up a mission. I don't know much, I just remember Seungcheol's father shouting at him, hearing that from the hall, where I hid. He refused to kill someone, or do something, I don't quite know. But it was not good.

A few weeks later, my mom left. She took me and my younger brother and left my father, left that life completely. It turned out that for a few months, my mother was talking to the police about the Choi family. She didn't tell much, but some stuff. As much as she could without actually saying anything. The man who was leading the case was Park; my mother ended up marrying him, and he became my step-father. I joined the academy because of him, because I didn't have any goals or ideas for life. I guess I still don't. He loved my mother and he loved my younger brother, but not me, despite the fact I became a policeman too. He just... he didn't. I was too serious, I was the older brother, he didn't like my attitude... but he never loved me like a father. And I never saw him as a father either.

When I entered the police... I heard about my real father. That he was working with Seungcheol's father again, but it was bad. That people had been suspecting us for years, that they had followed my mother for a long time, threatened her many times. A few years ago, it became worse, my mom almost didn't leave the house. So that's when I agreed to work with Seungcheol, in exchange for him protecting my father and leaving my family alone. It worked, I guess. Except Park died because he prodded too deep, and now... I guess my father is dead too.

I remember him. I remember him a lot; my younger brother not as much, but I do. He had principles, and morals, and ideas of what was good and bad, but he was capable of doing anything for that good. He loved us a lot, and I did too. He taught me so much, probably went through so much after his wife and his children escaped to the other side, that I feel like I owed it to him. But now... now there's nothing tying me to them. To Seungcheol."

It's probably the most he's ever talked. Soonyoung's expression is serious, his lips pursed.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I really don't know. I can't let it go."

"Even if he wanted to die? It seems like Seungcheol said the truth when he said that."

"That doesn't mean anything to me. It was Seungcheol's responsibility; I saved his ass so many times in return for that one thing, and he failed. I don't care. He was supposed to keep him alive."

"Can you... go against him? Would that be smart?"

"I can unleash hell against him. He's not bulletproof, and he knows that."

"And you're sure you want to?"

"We'll see."

* * *

The boxes and case files on Seungcheol's company are piled up on the right side of his desk, taking up way too much space. He has to sift through them, but before he does, he has to know how to approach them. Does he want to bring everything public, and risk Seungcheol not advancing to being the empire head? There's no way the families will accept him if the business goes public, but that starts a chain of events Wonwoo thinks will be tragic for a lot of people. Wonwoo's personal revenge is not a reason for this.

So he has to continue keeping things hidden, which makes his stomach turn. There's nothing that he owes to Seungcheol anymore, and his family is just fine; he'd know better than to threaten them. So why would he help him?

So Wonwoo figures he'll just do his job as a detective, and do it very well. He's not going to trigger anything, but he's going to at least make things difficult.

"I need around 10 people for a raid this afternoon, sir."

_"What for?"_

"We got reports of illegal activity happening on the outskirts of Seoul. It is urgent, so I will not require a warrant."

That way, nobody can warn Seungcheol.

_"Are you sure about this?"_

"Very sure."

5 hours later, one of Seungcheol's houses north of Seoul is closed. The first one in maybe 10 years, certainly the first since he's taken over. It's not public, but it gets written in police reports.

Half an hour later, in Wonwoo's office, the phone he took out of the safe and put on the desk rings.

_"It was you, wasn't it?"_

"Hello to you too."

_"Wonwoo-ya."_

"I'm doing my job, _Seungcheol-ah._ "

_"Suddenly you are?"_

"The terms of our agreement are over, aren't they? Back then, when I helped you with Jihoon and Jisoo, I told you you'd better keep your part of the deal."

 _"Alright, I get it,"_ Seungcheol sighs over the phone. _"I know how it is to lose a parent, that it drives you crazy. Just think a bit more. Everything has consequences, Wonwoo-ya."_

* * *

If anything, Soonyoung seems to hang out with him even more than usual, even if he was not supposed to. Wonwoo fees bad, since Soonyoung is incredibly busy with their tour preparations, but he comes to sleep over at Wonwoo's for basically any night that he can, basically crashing as soon as he does. Wonwoo's getting fine, but he doesn't want to send him away because he doesn't want to make him feel bad for the effort. He doesn't want to ruin the one good things he has going on for him right now.

That night, right as Soonyoung walks in to his place, there's someone behind him, seeming to head straight to Wonwoo's apartment. Wonwoo all but shoves Soonyoung behind the door if it happens to be a stalker or someone that's here for him, and steels himself at the door. Indeed, the person comes to his door.

"Are you Jeon Wonwoo?"

"What is going on?" Wonwoo asks, his voice letting out a threat.

"I have a letter for you. It had to be delivered in hand. Could you sign here, please?" Wonwoo takes the electronic pen and signs on the pad, looking as the man bows and leaves.

"What's that about?"

"I don't know," Wonwoo says, exploring the letter. It's a plain post office envelope, and he opens it carefully, heading to the living room, and sitting down next to Soonyoung, who's taken his mask and hoodie off and thrown them on the couch.

"Pick those up," he scolds him. Soonyoung shushes him, and looks at the envelope. Wonwoo pulls out a brown envelope and a note, which he opens first.

_'Found this in your father's things. I know things are not well between us, but it was addressed to you, so I thought you should have it. I didn't open it or mess with it, I promise._

_\- Seungcheol'_

Wonwoo doesn't like the look of this. Seungcheol wouldn't lie, despite the events of today, so he knows it's real, but why would his father send him a letter? They hadn't talked in years.

"Are you okay with me reading it too? Should I go?" Soonyoung asks, and Wonwoo shakes his head.

"It's fine."

So he opens it, pulls off the wax seal that used to be their family shield carefully, and pulls out a sheet of paper.

_'My dear son,_

_I am writing this letter to you as I cannot imagine writing it to someone else. If you receive it, it means I have passed to the other world. While I have no hope that God might forgive my sins, I hope you wish for your father to pass on to heaven, despite how much hurt I have brought to you. Your forgiveness will make my soul rest easier, that I believe._

_I am writing to you to beg for your forgiveness, or maybe to confess. I heard you have started working with Seungcheol again, as I was unable and too weak to protect you, your brother, and your mother. My heart is heavy knowing that, it is a regret I have always lived with in my heart, and will undoubtedly take with me wherever I shall go. I have always loved you and your brother and your mother, and never even thought about taking someone else or having other children. You are my children, and I will always cherish the memories of your childhood. I know you have grown into a strong, capable man, and I am proud to call you my son. I have been proud to hear of everything you and your brother have accomplished too, and I thank you for having given me the honor to be your father.'_

Wonwoo doesn't want to keep reading, even if he has to. What if he cries in front of Soonyoung?

 _'If I have died now, it means I have not had anything to live_ for, _and found_ better _purpose in my death. You shall know more about it than me, but I hope there was use from it, that it saved someone or helped someone. Do not mourn, do not feel sad for your father, and do not regret anything even once. I do not, and I want you to live on with an easy heart. You have done everything you could to help me, and to say I am grateful for your sacrifice will never be enough. I never deserved it, and I will never be able to thank you enough for it._

_As much as a letter of forgiveness, this is also a confession. There is a secret I did not want to take with me to my grave, as it made my heart heavier than anything else besides not being able to see you again before I died. When you were 8 years old, I had one woman come to me; she was from a good family, somebody that was not allied with us but she wanted to be. She was Mi-eun. Said she had great ideas, wonderful hopes for the future, and ways to reach them. But there was one thing standing in her way: Hina. I was blinded back then because of her words, was convinced that Hina was poison for Young-sik, maybe from her Japanese descent, maybe for her line of work. I saw the families increasingly turn against Young-sik and his rule, and believed Mi-eun when she said this is what was needed, what the empire needed, what Young-sik needed to be able to run well. That an alliance with her family, if she married Young-sik, would take everything to new heights._

_That night, I drove the car that hit Hina. I did not think of what I was doing, I did it because I believed it was the right thing to do, was blinded by my selfishness and by Mi-eun to see those ideas out there. I regretted it at the moment it happened, and ever since. I do not think I should be forgiven for that and will bear that sin in the afterworld for the rest of eternity._

_My dear son, I am passing this to you as I know you will be the one to do the right thing in my absence. Your father thanks you for all that you’ve done, and begs that somewhere, deep in your heart, you might have a good thought for me. I am proud of the man you have become, of the choices you have made, but I hope that, if the day comes, you shall return to where you were born. It is my last selfishness, and maybe my biggest one, to hope you will._

_Jeon Sung-ho'_

"Hyung..."

Wonwoo puts the letter down, sighs. There are tears in his eyes that just won't fall; he doesn't remember the last time he's cried. He doesn't think he can anymore. Not even over this.

His father's secret... will destroy Seungcheol, and will send him on a spree unlike anything imaginable. The person who killed Seungcheol's mother to be Wonwoo's father, someone who was so close to Seungcheol's father, and motivated by his step-mother? It will tear the family apart.

"Hyung... who are they?"

Wonwoo tries to get his wits, to blink away the tears in his eyes, before he answers.

"Hina is Seungcheol's actual mother. She is actually the daughter of two Japanese business people that used to collaborate with Seungcheol's family. When it fell through, she chose to stay in Korea, was banished, and became a high-class escort. Young-sik is Seungcheol's father; he married her, to the opposition of almost the entire family. She died 20 years ago, killed in a hit-and-run by an unknown driver. After her death, Young-sik married Mi-eun, the heiress of a massive company then brought under the empire; it was a marriage of convenience, but it brought many things together and established Seungcheol's father's reign."

"So your father was the driver. What does this mean then?"

"This? This means Seungcheol will start a war."

Soonyoung shivers next to him. Wonwoo feels it.

"I'm sorry. For your father and all of this... I hope it brings you some peace though."

"Yeah. Maybe."

Soonyoung hugs him from the side, leaning his head on his shoulder in comfort. Wonwoo fiddles with the wax seal of his family, and wonders what to feel. This certainly influences how he's playing the Seungcheol game, so he needs to do a lot of thinking.

* * *

A few days later, Soonyoung is in the kitchen with his laptop when Wonwoo wakes up, with his headphones in, oblivious to the world. Something possesses him, but when he walks by, he bends down to drop a kiss to the top of his head, startling him. Wonwoo smirks and goes to pour himself a coffee.

"Morning."

"Morning to you too."

He sits down across from him, pulls out his phone to read the news since he's clearly busy. And then he sees it, the picture sent to his main phone.

**_'25-year-old man in coma, critical condition after attempted suicide'_ **

He opens it, dread rising in him. He couldn't. _He wouldn't._

_'The 25-year Gwangju native threw himself off of a bridge after a fight with his friends. The man left a letter to his parents apologizing for his "condition" before jumping off, a source reports. The man was an ex-idol trainee who did not hold a steady job after leaving his agency. The family of XXX asks for privacy as the man is currently struggling for his life.'_

He’s not quick enough to get his phone out of Soonyoung’s hands when he grabs it out of curiosity, to see what got Wonwoo like that. His whole world stops when Soonyoung grabs it, in a ridiculous real-life scene of the dramatic slow motion in a movie.

Soonyoung reads through the title, looks down, freezes.

“It’s him, isn’t it? That’s him.”

Wonwoo keeps quiet. He doesn’t have an answer for him. Not one he actually wants to say.

“What did you do? Hyung, what did you do,” he asks, horrified.

“What had to be done. He’ll live,” he looks at Soonyoung. “Making a story is Seungcheol’s way of getting revenge on me, and it’s low. I’ll deal with it. He won’t do anything to you, and this is a draft. It won’t be published.”

“He knows?” Soonyoung almost shouts, his eyes wide.

“I couldn’t do it myself, so I asked for a favor. This is the end of it, don’t worry.”

“Don’t worry? This is insane! He won’t publish it, but.... how can you be calm? You’ve driven someone to almost suicide! He won’t die, but he’s marked for life! Because of me!”

That’s when Wonwoo looks at him, takes in his wide eyes, the shock in his face. Remembers Soonyoung is not from this world.

“This is our world, Soonyoung. This is how things are dealt with before they escalate, and he deserved it. It’s fine. I’ll deal with Seungcheol; he just wanted to show me up because I wanted to teach him a lesson, and messed with his business a little.”

“So despite the letter, despite what your father said to you, you’re on a revenge spree against him? This is what this is about? A game of back and forth of who can hurt the other more?” Soonyoung shouts at him. Wonwoo looks at him, blinks.

“You are a fool, Jeon Wonwoo. I didn’t ask for you to do anything like that, or tell him, but that’s fine. It was my fault for asking anything because I should’ve known better. This is the world you all live in, this is how you deal with things. By getting rid of people, ruining lives.”

Soonyoung grabs his laptop and his mask, grabs his bag, goes to put on his shoes, all in a hurry. When he turns back to him, shouting, his eyes are teary.

“But that’s nothing. You... you didn’t understand anything from your father's death, from his letter, did you? From what he had to say. You’re blinded by such a misconception of the world and such egocentrism, you and Seungcheol both, that you can’t see anything outside of it. Your father would be disappointed, and frankly, so am I. Don’t fucking call me until you know better," he looks at Wonwoo and says, poison lacing his voice.

He slams the door behind him, and leaves. Wonwoo lets the disappointment over himself wash over him, and buries his face in his hands.

As quickly as Kwon Soonyoung came into his life, that's how quickly he leaves.

* * *

Days settling back into his routine become quite dreary. He goes to work, does his work, some more stressful and some less, comes back home, reads, works out sometimes, watches movies. If before it left him feeling relaxed, even if boring, now the routine leaves him unsettled. Now that he knows there's room for more, it's like the same calm never comes. There's nothing to say about his life now.

He meets with the Commissioner-General, tells him about his progress. He seems happy but Wonwoo is still thoughtful, if he managed to find a leak, if he's suspecting him. If he's suspecting anything. It feels like a time bomb over Wonwoo's head a little, like something will collapse sooner rather than later. It's a scary thought.

One night, he can't bear the thoughts anymore, so he gets drunk. That's also something he hasn't done in a while, in addition to crying, but he has a beer, and another one, and he can't stop, and he gets fairly wasted. Not too much, but enough to pick up his phone and wonder what he can do with it.

He's drunk when he writes the message, otherwise he wouldn't be able to write it. This is maybe why it's a jumbled mass of words, things he wouldn't say dead while sober. But if it takes him being drunk for him to be able to take what he feels for Soonyoung from the kind of things that sit strange in his chest to words, then so be it.

_'I thought about what you told me and you're right. Maybe my father would be disappointed in how I've been dealing with things; I've thought and I've thought again and I'm still thinking about it.'_

_'But I don't regret what I did. I just wanted you to know that I did it because I care about you. And it might make me a horrible person, but I've been a horrible person for so long. The only thing I cared about is that you're safe. And you're safe so... I'm sorry. I'm sorry but I'd do the same thing in a heartbeat. Because you made my meaningless life better and you deserve it and more.'_

* * *

Soonyoung never answers.

* * *

Wonwoo ignores it. He's said what he had to say, so he can put it away. Or he can try to.

He damn misses him, that he knows. He does miss him, his presence in Wonwoo's life. Maybe he's terrible for it, and maybe he's wrong, but there was something about him that made everything less boring and less tense at the same time.

Wonwoo has known for years that what he does he's not made to do, that is clear. He likes helping people, but the constraints of who he is, the corruption and the responsibility that extends long beyond him with the pretense of law and morality, doesn't leave him that room. He has no passion for the rule of law per se, is not a stickler for rules, and whatever morals he has, they are arranged more around understandings of the world he's gotten outside of his work in the police, maybe from books, maybe from his childhood.

His family is there, but it was never enough to motivate Wonwoo. Not even his father was; it was something that was his duty, but in no way his passion, what got him out of bed in the morning. He doesn't have hobbies except for books and movies, not many friends, like Soonyoung pointed out, knowing him dangerously well.

There was nothing there; no hope for change, no hope for something better. There was simply nothing.

And then Soonyoung came, and forced him to think about things. Maybe it was the time, and taking over the case, and his father's death too, that changed the way he thought, weakened him, but he knows it's mostly Soonyoung. He's started thinking if he should leave, give up, what it means for his family and for him. If there's anything else he can do. They were feeble thoughts, but it was more than the mass of nothing much he lived in. But now he has those thoughts, but no Soonyoung to help pace him and give him some sort of light.

If before he was fine with being permanently alone, now... it's lonely. It's just so lonely.

* * *

"Mom? I'm here."

"Oh, Wonwoo-ya. Come in, I'm making dinner. Your brother should be back soon," he hears his mom from the kitchen, goes to join her.

"Do you have coffee?" He asks, and she nods to the counter.

"There. I made some for you."

"Thank you."

He sits down at the dinner table, looks at her cook. He could never get used to this house. It's big, too heavily decorated, too much and not enough for Wonwoo at the same time. He's moved out right after the academy, as soon as he could, because he couldn't stand living there.

His brother still is, though. Being a model didn't do much for him in terms of monetary independence, and his mom and Park never minded supporting him, and he didn't mind living from them either. Not like Wonwoo.

"Are you doing okay, darling? You haven't come to see me in so long."

"Not quite, mom." He won't talk about Seungcheol, that's for sure. She doesn't need to know everything, despite how he would love to talk to her about what he's thinking, the only person who knows the Choi family as well as he does, but left it.

"What's wrong, darling?"

"I met someone, mom."

"You did?" She asks, her voice colored with surprise. Excitement. "How is this girl? Is she nice? Does she treat you well?" She turns to him, a smile in her voice.

"It's not a she, mom. It's a he." Her smile drops, and she turns back to the food.

"Oh... are you still on that nonsense, Wonwoo-ya? I thought you grew out of this ridiculousness."

Wonwoo should have known better than to seek comfort at home. Knew he'd end up disappointed anyway.

"It's not nonsense, mom. I thought you would have understood that by now. Seems I was wrong. Say hello to my brother," he says and gets up, leaves.

"Wonwoo-ya! Come back," his mother shouts, but she doesn't bother coming out of the kitchen. Wonwoo doesn't bother to turn around. Like always. He didn't know why he hoped this time would be different; even if Soonyoung is, the whole world won't turn upside down in Wonwoo's favor all of a sudden.

* * *

So he goes back to work. He still pushes on Seungcheol's case, even though less, and thinks even more about what he should do. There's no answer. He has no answer.

He rests his head in his hands, taking a break from dealing with a complicated case of assault, another one. He wonders sometimes what's going on with this country, why there are so many bad things even when it's so rich. Why there are so many people struggling and facing things that nobody should have to face. Why he feels so powerless resolving them, despite how the police should be the place to go and feel safe.

But there's no answer to that either. There's crazy things he's thought of, but so far, they're crazy things only, and he doesn't know if he's ready to deal with the risk.

His phone rings then, the office one, with an in-office call from their secretary.

_"Sir. There's someone here to see you."_

"Send them up," he answers. Who would come to see him here?

When the door opens, there's a shadow of a feeling that he has that gives him the answer. It's him.

And he's right. Soonyoung enters his office and lays on the door, his body closing it.

Wonwoo gets up and goes to him in a split second, surprised. He missed him, but didn't actually realize how much until Soonyoung's back in front of him.

"Why are you here?" Wonwoo says, a hand on the side of his arm.

"I made a mistake. I thought a lot when I was on tour... and I don't think you're wrong. I think you're entitled to do whatever you want to do and I can't stop you, and maybe I shouldn't. I just... kind of want to support you. Be here for you, even against Seungcheol."

"What about Jihoon?"

"I can't let him lead my life anymore. I'm done with doing things because of him."

"Soonyoung... this isn't child's play. It isn't a game." _I might die,_ is what Wonwoo wants to say. _I might die and you'll get your heart broken, you fool._  For the first time, he thinks of the implications, of what might happen.

"If you're by yourself, it will be worse. You said Seungcheol won't do anything to me because of Jihoon. But then he can't also do anything to you because Jihoon will end him if he does."

"I don't want you or him to get involved. This is something I have to sort out with Seungcheol, I don't need your protection," Wonwoo drops his hand. It would be better to let him go before he really ends up getting hurt.

"Fine, then I won't protect you, you silly. I'll tell Seungcheol to come for you. Just let me... be with you."

Wonwoo wants to send him home, tell him to leave, and leave for good. But he's a weak, weak man. And he's missed him.

"Why do you want to be with me?" He asks, meant to make Soonyoung think about this twice, reconsider his reasons. Except Wonwoo's hand betrays him, and he finds it smoothing over Soonyoung's cheeks, the side of his hair.

"Because I want to. You don't deserve to be alone in this. Let me be clear, I don't agree with what you're doing and your lifestyle and I'll argue with you at every point but let me be here."

That's Soonyoung, an idiot with a big heart, with too much love and energy and drive in his body to contain it by himself.

"Thank you."

"Why are you thanking me?"

Months ago, before knowing Jihoon, he saw him as a weakness to Seungcheol. When so much depends on one single man, be it a company, be it hundreds of years of heritage, be it a family, be it a job like Wonwoo has, love is nothing but weakness, attacking the careful walls you have to build to ensure nothing gets to you. He saw Seungcheol's smirk when his step-father told him Jihoon didn't want to come, knew that immediately after he went to him. Later, he got to see where even if Jihoon is a stubborn, strong man, he got to smooth Seungcheol's edges out just because of how Seungcheol felt for him, and he thought _how weak._ How weak that Seungcheol let himself fall in that hole.

Now, Wonwoo gets it. _You can't quite help it._ And yet, he still doesn't think it's a strength. Not for Seungcheol, and surely not for him. It's another challenge, another something he has to accommodate for in his life. But it is what it is, Soonyoung is here to stay, and Wonwoo has to come to terms with the fact that he is weak for him.

Soonyoung carefully puts his hands around his neck when he doesn't say anything, and slowly tilts his head up, until his lips touch Wonwoo's. Wonwoo lets him kiss him, pulls away.

"Because you came back for me." Nobody ever did, is what goes unsaid.

* * *

He's at work when he gets the text. To say it takes him by surprise it's an understatement, but in a way, it feels like a natural conclusion. Like this is where he was heading anyway. It's annoying, to say the least.

_'I've thought a lot, Wonwoo-ya. And I have a proposition.'_

* * *

"He asked you. To work with him. He did, right?"

"How did you know?"

"Jihoon." Ah... obviously.

"Tell me about it. What did you say? What do you think?" Soonyoung gets up, sitting on the bed and turning to the side to face him. The sheets pool in his lap, and Wonwoo wants to reach out and touch the marks he's put on his collarbones.

"I won't do it."

"Why?"

"I just won't." They're not teenagers talking about a crush, goddammit. This is Wonwoo's life.

"Talk to me," Soonyoung half pouts, half orders, and this is not a conversation to have here, while Wonwoo still feels the ghost of Soonyoung's fingers on his hips.

"Fine. Get up and let's have a drink." Wonwoo gets up too, fishing for pants and a shirt, while Soonyoung goes to get one of the shirts and pants he left in his closet. _Wonwoo's closet._

If he looks around, there's a book Soonyoung tried to read on _his_ nightstand _,_ one fancy outfit hanging next to his closet because Soonyoung has a schedule in the morning, his skincare products on Wonwoo's shelf. This is ridiculous.

In the kitchen, there's mug in the wash that Soonyoung likes, his favorite coffee on the shelf because Wonwoo admitted it's better than what he drinks. There's Japanese food in the fridge because he mentioned he was craving it, and when Wonwoo got take-out, he didn't think, he just instinctively selected it on the delivery app.

Wonwoo's let him into his life in so many aspects, and he's changed so much of Wonwoo in turn, no matter how hesitant he was to let him in. You can't quite stop Kwon Soonyoung from doing anything.

Wonwoo opens two beers and settles to his fate.

"So tell me."

"Soonyoung, I just can't do it. It's ridiculous. He's ruined my family and killed my father."

"Your mother left because she couldn't live that life. Your father died for him because he wanted to. You told me he was a strong, capable man, and that was his sacrifice. He wrote it to you."

"What he wanted doesn't matter to me. What I wanted was to free him."

"Maybe you should care about what he wanted, and not about yourself. Did you think like that?"

"Soonyoung..." he warns.

"I don't want to force you, you know how much I hate it. But this is not me. This is you. You've told me before, that you grew up there, it shaped your life, and you've lived your life around it. You know it's what you want to do. Even after you've gotten your resolution, when you have no attachment to him or anything, your mind is still there. I can see it. Your revenge is not revenge, but it's all you know, dealing with him."

"So I should go work with the man I've fought for years?"

Soonyoung narrows his eyes at him.

"Pride is a dangerous concept, Jeon Wonwoo. You know it. Think about it."

* * *

There's no fear in Seungcheol's eyes when he stares down the barrel of Wonwoo's gun. He knows, because there wouldn't be any fear in his either, if the situation was reversed.

He just looks... like he analyzes him. Soonyoung and Jihoon, on the other hand... Wonwoo can hear their breaths, how hard they're trying not to intervene, the soft gasps when he points his gun. Wonwoo told Soonyoung not to under any circumstance, and Seungcheol must've done the same.

The seconds, minutes he keeps it there, his hand steady, unmoving, feel like centuries. He feels like he can pull the trigger anytime, end this, and everything Seungcheol stood for would crumble; his company, his empire, the people around him, probably the entirety of Korea. Or will it?

He could.

But he doesn't.

He slowly puts the gun down. Seungcheol's expression does not change; there's no relief in his face, no anything. Nothing's changed for him, Wonwoo's gun touching the skin of his forehead, pointing between his eyes, or not. Nothing's changed for Wonwoo either. The kind of power a gun holds is often useless.

"Do you know why I didn't shoot you? I promised to show you how it is to lose everything."

"No. I don't."

"That time... that time my father messed up and everything happened. Do you know why? It wasn't because he refused to kill someone out of honor and your father felt betrayed. He couldn't because of guilt."

Seungcheol looks at him, lips pursed. He waits.

This is real power. The one that can be inflicted with words, words that will change the course of someone's life, and many others, in a way that death cannot.

"20 years ago, on a rainy night in March, in the center of Gangnam... he was driving a car. A car that collided with another car, instantly killing its driver."

He sees it, when Seungcheol gets it. When his eyes flicker, darken.

"He was the one who did it. Who killed your mother."

The silence is oppressive. Wonwoo faces Seungcheol, stares him head down.

"Why?" Seungcheol asks, flat.

"Because he was convinced by someone who wanted her dead it would be the best for the company and your family... Your step-mother."

This time, he doesn't miss the rage in Seungcheol's eyes. It's subtle, barely there, but that's how he knows Seungcheol is about to turn the world on its head. In many ways, he looks like years ago, when he got something in his mind and didn't sleep until it was done. This time, maybe the scale of what he has to do is different, but the feeling is the same.

"It doesn't make anything even. It doesn't make it better between us, or for them. But this made me think. I don't think I live a life where there is anything I do that cannot be intertwined with what you do," Wonwoo says.

He takes one step closer, until he's almost an arm's reach away from Seungcheol. His arm extends, putting up the safety on the gun, and turning it until the handle faces him.

The entire time his arm goes up, Wonwoo could think of anything. He could think of his mother that's given her life to save him and his brother, of his step-father, who despite not loving him, gave him a purpose when he had none. Of his job, of the moral values he holds that he's going against here, of how besides Seungcheol's belief in creating a better system where the system can't be removed, Wonwoo might be playing into something worse for the world around him, his country. He's thought of all of this before and he could think about it now.

Instead, Wonwoo thinks about Soonyoung, who he can hear behind him, who he's almost attuned to. _Fucking Kwon Soonyoung._  Soonyoung who could read through him and tell that despite all of those thoughts, that's where his heart was. Soonyoung who, even if he denies it, got involved with Wonwoo for a feeling of security against Seungcheol, and gave that up for Wonwoo to do what he needs to do. Soonyoung who explicitly doesn't believe in being born with something that you can't let go of, but accepted that in Wonwoo and forced him to come to terms with it.

Not everybody's path in life is forged at a young age. His brother, who did manage to get away from his upbringing and follow his dream, is an example. His is though. Wonwoo's is. And now this knowledge is staring him right in the face.

The handle of Wonwoo's gun is facing Seungcheol now, until he's close enough to see it. He raises it then, twists it to the side, brings it in front of Seungcheol's eyes, the bottom of it visible. Right there, at the bottom of the handle, there are two initials Wonwoo's stared at for years. _ㅅㅊ. Seungcheol._

"I think this belongs to you. And I think you have something that belongs to me."

Seungcheol moves then for the first time in a while, reaches to his waistband. The gun he pulls out is identical, except at the bottom, there are two other initials. _ㅇㅇ. Wonwoo._

"You said you'd be back soon," Seungcheol starts. Wonwoo didn't think he remembered. "I've waited eighteen years."

"I had some things to deal with."

"I hope you dealt with all of them."

"Not quite, but I'm sure you'll be able to answer some questions."

**Author's Note:**

> There's just no story of mine that Soonyoung will have a happy past in, let's acknowledge that from the get-go. I am always sorry for putting him through difficulties, but he's a strong boy. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this, Soonwoo is my ride-or-die now, but we have a lot of things to move on to. I'll be posting the first chapter of part 3 on Saturday, and we're going to be back to Jicheol's insane story. This will get serious but also very power couple-y for all of the couples that we've seen so far, so I hope you're looking forward to that as much as I am. Thank you for reading!


End file.
